So finding it hard to make “true” friends throughout childhood and being bullied, through the mindfulness techniques, I was trying to find an underlying reason for why I would often feel unloved/unwanted/not needed. After much soul searching I discovered it wasn’t because I felt I wasn’t loved it was the fact that I might not actually love myself. How could you not love yourself you may ask? Well it was more a feeling I had rather than a rational thought. Was this the reason which was preventing me from moving my life, relationships and business forward as fast as I wanted. Was something holding me back?
So again in my sessions I looked back at the feelings and when looking at this belief asked the questions
- What had it cost me?
- How had it impacted my life?
- How was it preventing me from leading the life I wanted to lead?
- What would my life be like if I continued down this path?
- What would life be like if I was rid of this belief
Looking at past history I was always someones “best” friend until their next “best” friend came along, I found out “so-called” friends at high school talked about me nastily behind my back. Did they do this because I didn’t value myself or indeed love myself to find like-minded friends that shared my beliefs and values?
Using the processes and techniques to go back in time at the various stages I felt like this I was able to come to terms with those feelings, I was able to heal from within and at the end of the session, my new belief was that I did “love myself”
I am now a lot bolder and now standing up for myself in situations which I wouldn’t have normally done so. I am getting out there and just going for it. These beliefs have held me back for so long now I now don’t need for people to love me which was something I was always seeking. Always bending over backwards to help people in order to gain their approval or love or friendship. Since this session I have been getting out there and facing people and not bothering about the response/result I get.
So are you always trying to please others, putting their feelings first before your own? Do you put your life on hold when someone needs your help regardless of how urgent it is? Are you always on the other end of the phone when your friends need you but when you need them all you get is voicemail.
Start evaluating your life and start putting yourself first. If your next actions are to the detriment of your dreams, goals and values then think twice before you take action. Being mindful of yourself and being able to say “No” to people can be extremely uplifting and liberating. This doesn’t mean you do not value others it means you value yourself more.
Rid yourself of the emotional vampires, the ones that drain your excitement, the ones that want to keep you exactly where you are. The great thing is you can start to identify these people and either distance yourself away from then or learn the reasons why they are doing it, accept them for who they are and ignore their attempts at sabotaging your life.
Surround yourself with people who make you a better person, who want you to succeed, who share your values and beliefs. Remember friends come and go as you grow and evolve into the person you have always wanted to be. Plant the seeds now and with the correct “watering” and “sunshine” you will flourish and grow strong.